What the Bible Says
About Being a Dad 

July 2003

Dear Men of KONOS,

We are starting our 22nd year of home schooling in a month so I have some experience.  I also taught public school and coached for 5 years right after college.  I have been the CEO of KONOS for the last 14.5 years.  My main job every day is to talk to mothers on the phone and help them do a better of teaching their children at home.  Because of my involvement with each of the moms here and thousands of moms I have talked to one-on-one on the phone or over the internet, I feel like I know the heart of the homeschool mother as well as any man in America. 

Here is what I have observed over the last 21 years:

1. Most mothers are on their own and wish they had more input from their hubbies.

2. Many fathers give their wives little or no help with household chores and kiddie care.

3.  Very few men know what is being taught to their children or how it is being taught.

4.  Many men are in favor of homeschooling but are not, or do not have the time to be involved.

5.  Very few men have ever been taught what the Biblical role and responsibilities of the father are in child training both for character and academics.

6.  It is rare that a Christian father ever teaches the Scriptures to his children three or more days per week.

If the husband is a Bible believing Christian, then God has a call on his life to honor the Lord regarding the father's pre-eminent role in teaching and training his children. Yes, he can delegate the job to a teacher or to his wife, but he is still going to be held accountable before the Lord, so he better know what is happening! 

Wives, if your husbands are not believers or are not walking with the Lord right now, then your prayer is that the Lord will draw them to Himself (Jhn 6:44).

If your husband is doing all that he can do and his heart is to lead his family, protect and help his wife in his home, and take responsibility for the training of his children, thank the Lord for this man!!

Verses For the Christian Father:  

Deut.6:1  "Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the LORD your God has commanded me to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it,

2  so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged.

3  "O Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it, that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.

4  "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!

5  "And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

6  "And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart;

7  and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

8  "And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.

9  "And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.  (The call here is to fathers, not mothers.)

From Proverbs (The first 10 chapters of Proverbs speak of the father as the trainer for sons. Moms are included some but the primary trainer is dad, not mom.

Prov 1:7  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

8  Hear, my son, your father's instruction, And do not forsake your mother's teaching;

Prov 2:1  My son, if you will receive my sayings, And treasure my commandments within you,

Prov 3:1  My son, do not forget my teaching, But let your heart keep my commandments;

2  For length of days and years of life, And peace they will add to you.

Prov 4:1  Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, And give attention that you may gain understanding,

2  For I give you sound teaching; Do not abandon my instruction.

Prov 5:1  My son, give attention to my wisdom, Incline your ear to my understanding;

2  That you may observe discretion, And your lips may reserve knowledge.

Prov 6:1  My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor, Have given a pledge for a stranger,

2  If you have been snared with the words of your mouth, Have been caught with the words of your mouth,

3  Do this then, my son, and deliver yourself; Since you have come into the hand of your neighbor, Go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor.

7:1  My son, keep my words, And treasure my commandments within you.

2  Keep my commandments and live, And my teaching as the apple of your eye.

3  Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart.

Prov 10:1  The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.

If we want our sons (children) to be wise here's what we should do:

Prov 13:20  He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Our children should be walking with wise men.  Who has the most wisdom in most son's realm?  Dad and mom!! (The wisdom of God for raising up Godly men and women is obvious! Put them under the care of parents.)

When young people spend more and more time with their peers and less and less time with "wise men" their behavior oftentimes goes downhill.  It seems the more they hang around other kids, the more inclined they are to do things they would never dream of doing in the presence of their parents. Wanna know why?

Prov 22:15  Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

But fathers are busy. Indeed, it is getting more and more difficult to raise a family and support one at the same time.  But be encouraged; this is not just a 21st century phenomena. Look at Malachi's warning as he prophesied about the coming of the Messiah.  (Isn't it interesting that this is the very last verse in the Old Testament?)

Mal 4:6  "And he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse."

Just to make sure we are getting the picture, Jesus repeats the same admonition in Luke chapter 1:17 

"And it is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, TO TURN THE HEARTS OF THE FATHERS BACK TO THE CHILDREN, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous; so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord."

The fact that fathers are busy does not release them from the job of raising their children.  Not only are they responsible, but they (we) will be held accountable!!

For more information, training, and encouragement, the KONOS video "Dads: The Men in the Gap" is a fabulous resource and training tool for all fathers with children. 

http://www.konos.com/konossuppt/dadvideo.htm

Blessings and Happy Fathering,

Wade Hulcy

CEO KONOS, Inc.

972/924-2712

wade@konos.com